


The Party's Cockblocking Misadventures

by mythicalbeyotch (HazHas4Nips)



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: (it's not graphic but it's definitely there), Awkward Sexual Situations, Consensual Sex, M/M, Post-Season/Series 03, Sexual Content, Walking In On Someone, it ignores basically everything that happened in the season 3 finale so it's all happy, mentions of bondage, these poor children lol, this is so silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-06-27 17:09:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19795291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazHas4Nips/pseuds/mythicalbeyotch
Summary: The Party discovers what Max means when she says "happy screams" (and other times they interrupt private moments)





	1. we can roll in the darkness...

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is so silly and so pointless, but I was just dying at the parts in Season 3 when Max talks about "happy screams." Also, I'm still confused about how Max is the only one of them who apparently knows what sex is? As much as we'd love for them to be 7 forever, they're not, they're teenagers and are like all in relationships themselves, so I am slightly concerned that a bunch of 14-year-olds don't know what sex is, but it was funny so I am not overthinking it.
> 
> I have a couple more plans laid out for the next few chapters. Each chapter will be a different moment when the party walks in on or cockblocks (lol) Harringrove.
> 
> please leave a kudos and kind comment if you enjoyed it!!

“Come on, El, just this once,” Dustin whines, putting on his most pitiful pouty lips and wide-eyed look. “Pinky promise, it’ll be just this one time.”

El tilts her head, giving Dustin a pointed look, and he rushes to add, “Promise!! Friends don’t lie, right?”

Max and El glance over at each other, rolling their eyes in silent girl-conversation that still manages to freak out the boys even to this day. 

“He said he’d call me an hour ago to make plans for when he’d pick me up and get me home later, and he hasn’t called me yet, which is so unlike him, so he’s probably DEAD,” Dustin rushes out all in one breath.

“Jesus, El, will you just do it please to shut him up already?” Will groans, flopping back against the couch, being equally as dramatic as Dustin, yet bemoaning Dustin’s theatrics. 

El reaches out and wraps her pinky around Dustin’s still outstretched one, smiling at the wide grin that overtakes Dustin’s face. 

“Pinky promise,” she says, and he nods eagerly. 

“Just this once. And I’ll never ask you for anything ever again!”

“Well that’s obviously a lie,” Lucas grumbles. 

“Shut up,” Dustin flips him off, making El giggle. 

Max scoffs, already moving over to turn the TV to a channel of static. “Seriously, the sooner everyone shuts up, the sooner El can find Steve, and the sooner Dustin will stop being a little whiny bitch.” 

“Hey!” Dustin turns to glare at her, but she just shrugs at him like  _ come at me _ . 

El ties the bandana around her eyes and the other kids gather around her, watching to see what will happen.  They wait with bated breath for a few moments before Dustin breaks the silence. 

“Do you see him?” he loudly whispers, making everyone startle. 

“Shut up, Dustin,” Max scolds him, but El turns her head in the direction of Dustin’s voice. 

“I, uh--yeah, I see him.” 

“WHERE IS HE?!” Dustin practically yells, causing the other kids to all shush him loudly. 

“He… I don’t know,” El says, scrunching up her eyebrows under the bandana as she searches for a sign of where he is. 

“What do you see?” Mike prods gently. 

“He’s on a bed,” El says slowly, working to figure out what she’s looking at. 

“Is it  _ his _ bed? Or someone else’s?” Dustin nags. 

“How would she know what his bed looks like, dipshit?” Max says. 

Dustin splutters for a moment, for a moment looking as if he wants to retaliate with an insult, but instead he just turns his attention back to El. 

“Is there…” he wracks his brain for any distinguishing features of Steve’s room he can remember from the couple times he’d been there to bother--  _ hang out _ \-- with Steve. “Oh! His blanket’s blue, and he’s got these dumb frog stickers on the headboard that he can’t get off.” 

Max and Lucas give him judgmental looks, but El nods her head quickly. "Yeah, I see them."

“His heart’s beating really fast,” she adds, subconsciously moving her hand to rest atop her heart, pressing down slightly as if she’s the one with a racing heart. “He’s nervous.” 

“But what’s he doing?!” Dustin doesn’t yell this time, but he’s still too loud. 

“He…” El’s voice trails off as she tilts her head to the side and scrunches up her face in concentration. Suddenly, she gasps and whispers, “I think he’s tied to the bed.” 

“What the hell?” Lucas says what they’re all thinking. “What do you _mean_ he’s tied to a bed?”

El’s hand shoots out and she grabs onto Dustin, the person closest to her.

“There’s someone else there,” she breathes out, tone laced with fear. 

“Who?” Mike asks as they all lean in closer, waiting for an answer.

El gasps again and her grip tightens so much on Dustin’s arm that he yelps out in pain. 

“Billy.”

The kids erupt in questions, all talking over each other in confusion. Max’s voice finally cuts the boys off as she yells, “WILL YOU MORONS ALL SHUT UP AND LET EL DO HER THING?!”

They grumble out apologies but keep sending each other worried and confused looks over El’s head. 

“El,” Mike says softly, “Do you still see them?”

She nods, and they wait in silence for her to say something else. 

Suddenly, El inhales sharply and loudly and yanks the bandana off. 

“What? What happened? Are you okay?” Mike asks her anxiously, grabbing her shoulders and shaking slightly to get her attention. 

She swipes the back of her hand across her nose, wiping off the blood, and looks around the circle at all of them with wide-eyes. 

“Don’t know really,” she starts. “Billy-- he…” she glances over at Max a moment before rushing on. “he blindfolded Steve. I couldn’t really see what was happening, but I heard….” she locks eyes with Dustin. “Steve yelling.” 

“Shit, shit, SHIT!” 

“What do you mean?” Will tries to ask, but Dustin’s yelling and pacing drowns his voice out. The volume in the Wheeler basement rises quickly as they all frantically try talking over one another until finally El yells out “HEY!”

Everyone stops talking and freezes immediately, and El looks over to Mike, giving him the floor. 

“Okay,” Mike says as Dustin starts pacing around the room frantically again. “Let’s go over the facts. Steve is in his room, tied to a bed, he’s nervous or scared or something, Billy’s there, and El heard Steve screaming.”

“Are Billy and Steve even friends?” Will asks, looking over to Max, but it’s Dustin who answers in a slightly hysterical tone. 

“Hell no! Did you forget that time Billy almost fucking killed Steve? He’s a lunatic!”

“Hey!” Max yells, crossing her arms over her chest and staring down Dustin. “Don’t talk about him like that.” 

“It’s true!” Dustin splutters. “He beat the shit out of Steve, he attacked Lucas,  _ you _ yourself were scared of him until you got Steve’s bat, and may I remind you all that that was  _ without _ him being possessed by the Mind Flayer?” 

“Billy-- Billy’s been good recently. He’s doing a lot better, he’s nicer and I don’t hear him screaming from nightmares any more so that’s good,” Max says very quietly, but she sounds like she’s trying to reassure herself as much as she is the other kids. “I don’t… think he’d hurt Steve or anyone, unless…” 

They all know what she means when her voice trails off, but Mike vocalizes what they’re all thinking. 

“Do you think it’s  _ Him _ ? Is he back?” 

They all turn to look at Will. Will gingerly touches the back of his neck out of habit but shakes his head slowly, his facial features crumpling into a look of utter confusion. 

“I don’t think so,” Will whispers. “I don’t-- I can’t feel Him.”

“Me neither,” El adds.

“So what does it mean?” Lucas snaps, confusion and panic lacing his words. 

“It means we have to go help Steve!” Dustin exclaims, jumping up and rushing towards the stairs. He stops part way up when he notices no one has made a move to follow him. 

“C’mon, guys! We gotta go check it out. If it  _ is  _ Him, Steve’ll need back-up.”

“Shit,” Mike mutters, pushing himself up to standing and offering a hand to help El up, too. “He’s right.” 

As they hurry upstairs and jump onto their bikes, El and Will exchange confused glances, trying to figure out if the Mind Flayer has somehow managed to block them out so that they have no warning if (and when) he’s back. This is definitely not like last time when they could both sense when he was active, and if he’s able to hide from them, then maybe he’s gotten stronger and stealthier in other ways, which would not be good at all. 

Dustin, of course, leads the pack as they bike furiously over to Steve’s house. They stand in a clump on the front steps of his house, glancing at each other as they all start to realize they didn’t exactly make a plan for once they got there. 

“His car’s here,” Will announces, looking over to where Steve’s car is parked in the driveway. “So he’s definitely here.” 

“What do you think Billy’s doing to him in there?” Mike asks, glancing over to El who shrugs and shakes her head. “The last time, he brought people to that gross basement. Why would he bring Steve back to his own room and tie him up there?”

“I don’t know,” Dustin says, “But we’re about to find out.” He raises his hand to pound on the front door, but Lucas grabs his wrist before he can make contact. 

“Wait!” Lucas hisses. “What’s the big plan here, genius?  _ If  _ the… the Mind Flayer”-- he whispers the name as if saying it too loudly will give them away-- “really has Billy again, we can’t just bang on the door and announce our position like sitting targets.” 

“He’s right,” Mike says, squaring back his shoulders and looking around at everyone with fake hubris. 

“Jesus Christ,” Dustin huffs, throwing his hands up in frustration. “The plan is... we go in, we see if Billy’s possessed, we save Steve, and we get the hell out of there.” 

“Great plan,” Mike says, voice dripping with sarcasm. “And if the Mind Flayer really  _ is _ back, we’re just going to what? Defeat him? Is that basically your plan?”

“Well, uh, yeah! Yeah it is!” Dustin replies defensively. 

“Guys!” Will groans out, cutting off their argument before it can get too heated. “We don’t have time for this. How about we just sneak in, survey the situation, and then  _ if _ He’s back, we’ll run away and make a _real_ plan-- that involves grown ups-- then.” 

“But--” Dustin starts to whine. 

“Sounds good,” Max cuts him off, shooting him a look that dares him to disagree with her. 

Slowly the other three kids all nod, agreeing to Will’s plan of simply intelligence collecting. 

“Ugh, fine!” Dustin groans, huffing and muttering under his breath about how unfair this is and how apparently he’s the only one who cares about Steve even though Steve’s risked his life for them on multiple occasions. 

Mike leads the way, slowly and carefully trying the front door. To all their surprise, it’s unlocked and opens easily, not making a sound as Mike guides it open. They sneak in on tip-toes, trying to be stealthy as they strain to hear any signs that the monster has resurfaced. 

Dustin jerks his head in the direction of the stairs, and in a moment of bravery, he leads the way up. 

It takes them much longer than normal to get all six kids upstairs, since they have to freeze and hold their breath every time a stair creaks, waiting for their cover to be blown and be confronted face-to-face with the monster again. 

Lucas and Max, trailing behind the others, are almost to the top of the stairs when they all hear it: a few low grunts that sound suspiciously like Billy and then a choked off scream that is indisputably Steve. 

They all freeze, eyes going wide as they stare at each other. 

“Shit!” Dustin hisses out as quietly as he can. “He’s beating up Steve! Again!” 

“Shh!!” Mike snaps at him.

Dustin sends him a death glare and then slowly, slowly -- making a big show of creeping on tip-toes and lifting his knees up really high-- sneaks over to Steve’s closed bedroom door. He leans as close to it as he can without actually touching, straining to hear anything that would confirm for sure that Billy’s been possessed-- or even if he hasn’t, that he’s hurting Steve. 

The other kids slowly sneak up behind him, leaning in to listen for themselves. 

There’s the unmistakable sounds of Steve moaning and groaning as if in pain, with a few sporadic grunts from Billy as if he's exerting a lot of energy. They all jump when there’s the sharp snap of skin hitting skin, and their eyes go comically wide as they look from one another, now convinced that something bad’s happening inside that room. 

“We gotta go in,” Dustin mouths exaggeratedly, slowly reaching for the doorknob. 

“Guys,” Max breathes out, scrunching up her forehead as she realizes something, the sounds coming from behind the door suddenly sounding to her much more like groans of pleasure than pain. “Guys….”

Dustin closes his fist around the doorknob and looks back at the rest of them as he holds up three fingers. He mouths, “three, two….”

“Guys, wait!” Max says at full volume at the same time a  _ “fuck, Billy, fuck, yeah, right there” _ rings out just as Dustin flings open the door. 

“What the--”

Everyone freezes as they absorb the scene they’ve just walked in on: Billy’s on top of Steve, lying between his legs, both completely naked. They’re on top of the blankets, but thankfully the way the blankets have bunched up by them mostly hides the view of anything too explicit. Steve’s hands are tied to the headboard, so his torso is stretched long, revealing the multitude of love bites and bruises littering his pale chest. 

For a moment, no one moves, the two teenage boys staring at the six younger teens, looks of surprise and horror mirrored on everyone’s faces. 

“What the fuck, guys?” Steve breaks the silence, his voice rising as everyone’s snapped out of their initial shock. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? GET OUT!”

Will and Lucas both immediately turn around and rush out of the room and back down the stairs.

Mike goes completely beet red and stares up at the ceiling, unsure how to process walking in on his older sister’s ex-boyfriend in bed with another guy, a guy who tried to kill them all once or twice before.

El looks very confused but slightly intrigued as she stays quiet and holds her gaze level despite the erupting chaos around her.

Max is cracking up, laughing so hard it almost hurts, wrapping her arms around her stomach as she gasps for air between her fits of laughter.

“Abort! Abort! ABORT!” Dustin’s screaming in horror, his hands over his eyes as he runs around in circles like a broken wind-up toy. “MY EYES! MY EYES!” his dramatic ass yells.

“HENDERSON!” Steve yells angrily at the same time Billy roars, “MAXINE!”

“Sorry Billy!” Max calls in her sweetest, most innocent voice as she shoves the remaining kids out of the room and pulls the bedroom door shut behind her. 

“Have fun! Be safe! Hope you’re using protection!” she sing-songs, cackling wildly as they all storm down the stairs and out the front door, slamming it shut behind them. They stand on the front steps a moment, catching their breath and just staring at each other in shock. 

“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit,” Dustin’s just repeating on an endless loop, looking pale and completely shell-shocked.

“You alright there, buddy?” Mike teases, starting to giggle himself at the absurdity of what just happened. 

“No!” Dustin splutters indignantly. “No! No! No! No, I’m not okay. I can’t believe-- How could Steve-- I mean, after everything…. holy shit.”

“Hey! Billy’s a catch,” Max defends. “Steve could do much worse, you know.”

“Yeah, but whyyyyyy? Why did it have to be  _ him _ ? Oh god, my eyes! I can never unsee it!” Dustin wails, making everyone crack up at his dramatic display of agony.

Suddenly a window upstairs is flung upon and Billy’s head pokes out. 

“Hey shitheads! If you’re still here by the time I get down there…..”

He doesn't even need to finish the threat because they're already jumping on their bikes and pedaling away as fast as they can, not stopping or slowing down until they’re all safely back in the Wheeler basement, sweaty and breathing heavily, perhaps some mental trauma here and there, but not too worse for wear.

“I just…. I can’t believe it,” Dustin says again, sounding totally defeated.

“Hey, cheer up,” Max says, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “On the bright side, think of all the second-hand embarrassment we’ll get to avoid now since Steve won’t be trying to pathetically flirt with girls.”

“But this is so much worse!” Dustin whines, jutting out his bottom lip and wallowing in self-pity. “And he didn’t even tell me!”

Will shrugs, going back to the half-finished sketch he had abandoned when Dustin started whining about Steve being late. 

“I don’t get what the problem is,” Will reasons, not looking up. “It’s not a big deal. If he’s happy with it, you should be, too. That’s what friends do, man.”

“Oh!” Eleven’s surprise cuts off their conversation, and everyone turns to look at her. “ _ Those _ are what happy screams are.”


	2. ...let me touch you where you're hardest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wants Robin and Billy to finally meet... but things don't go quite as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading!!! I've now decided that there will be four chapters of this thing, and I'm expecting to have the next chapter out this weekend. They're all just going to be silly things like this, mostly centering around my sweet child Dustin who is soooo not in the mood for Steve and Billy's lovey-dovey shit. 
> 
> I don't think there are any additional tags or warnings or anything for this new chapter. 
> 
> I do want to apologize to my bb Dustin because this chapter kind of makes him seem annoying, but it's from Robin's POV and let's be real, she thinks he's as much of a dingus as Steve is so it makes sense that she's done with his shit. I also loooooove thinking of how Billy and Dustin would interact, both trying to constantly have Steve's attention and both thinking the other is not worthy of Steve's time.
> 
> Oh also, these first two chapters are named based on the One Direction song "Temporary Fix" and I know that this chapter's title isn't technically the right lyrics but I like to sing it this way because it makes it much more gay.

Meeting your best friend’s boyfriend is always a bit nerve wracking. 

Particularly when said best friend thought he was straight until recently. And particularly when you were almost killed by said boyfriend while he was possessed by some other-dimensional-monster. And particularly when you’re sitting in said best friend’s living room at the time you’d all agreed to meet, but they’re 20 minutes late because you can hear them banging even from one floor down.

It’s not like it’s hard to tell what they’re doing. There’s the very obvious sounds of the mattress squeaking and the headboard banging against the wall, and Robin sends a small prayer to the Goddess that she can’t really hear any pleasure noises since she turned on the TV to full volume in an attempt to both drown them out and not-so-subtly alert them that there’s someone else in this house waiting on them. 

Although, in a way it’s almost impressive how loud they still manage to be, considering this house is fucking huge and a few moans still manage to cut through the sound of the random sitcom she’s blasting. 

She’s been to Steve’s house several times already at this point, so she’s comfortable enough that she hadn’t bothered knocking before entering. 

Walking in, she’d called out, “Honey, I’m hooooooome!” but was met with silence. Frowning, she checked her watch and sure enough, she was even a few minutes later than the time they’d agreed upon. But no clumsy, dumb bisexuals named Steve Harrington came running to greet her. 

She had glanced out the big sliding doors in the back and saw that they weren’t out by the pool. She’d been heading to the kitchen when she’d heard the first sound. She wasn’t sure what she’d heard at first, freezing mid-step as she strained to hear again, the voice muffled through the walls but still impressively (unfortunately) audible.

_ “Nngh, fuck, baby, you’re fucking mouth, goddamn.”  _

That definitely wasn’t Steve’s voice, which means….. nope, Robin’s not going to think about it. Her lesbian ass does  _ not _ need that image in her head, no siree. 

She’d considered leaving, but Steve had been the one so goddamn insistent on her and Billy finally meeting, so she decided to stay…. with the added reparations that she raided the pantry and found a tin of the fanciest looking cookies she’s ever seen. If she’s going to have to sit and wait for them to finish screwing, she’s going to get some bougie snacks out of it. 

Plopping down on the obscenely comfy-- and probably more expensive than her entire house-- couch, Robin settles in for a bit. She doesn’t know how long they’ll be… otherwise occupied, but she’s got nothing else going on today.

She flicks on the TV, thankfully drowning out some of the now nearly constant grunts, moans, and muffled words of passion. Obviously she’s very happy for Steve; he may be the biggest dumbass in the world, but despite that-- or maybe  _ because _ of that-- he deserves to feel loved and to be happy. But maybe just ... the loving doesn’t necessarily need to happen right when they had agreed that Robin and Billy were going to meet. 

Robin may like girls, but she’s heard things about how rowdy and horny teenage boys can be, so while this is annoying, it’s not necessarily surprising that these two can’t keep their hands off each other. But she’d also heard enough of her friends complaining about how… quickly and unsatisfyingly teenage boys ... finish so it’s a surprise when she finishes the entire tin of cookies and notes that she’s been waiting for them for over an hour but they still haven’t came downstairs. 

Sighing, she decides it’s time to leave since they’ve obviously got better things to do. Unfortunately, the second she turns off the TV, the whole house is filled with the sounds of a headboard banging against the wall and full-on  _ screams _ of pleasure. 

Jesus, she hadn’t realized how loud she’d turned up the TV, but she’s definitely made a grave mistake by plunging the house into silence. She scrambles to grab the remote and turn the TV on with sound at maximum volume. 

Well, it’s officially past her dinnertime, and the amount of material she’s gathered that can be used to tease Steve is officially outweighed by the amount of embarrassment she’s feeling just being in this house right now, so she decides to head out. 

As she reaches for the doorknob, she’s nearly knocked over by the door being swung open and a whole crew of not-so-tiny 14-year olds barreling past her and heading towards the stairs. 

“Jesus,” she mumbles under her breath as she rights herself and steps out of the way of the last few kids coming in. 

“Hey!” she calls out, noticing that-- of course-- it’s Dustin who’s leading the pack of wild, rowdy, running kids. 

“HEY!” she yells louder, finally catching their attention. Six pairs of eyes turn to stare at her, and she sighs heavily, unsure how this all became her life. That’s Steve Harrington for you, though; he comes with his own pack of pubescent middle schoolers and  _ apparently _ uninhibited and uncontrolled horniness. 

“I wouldn’t go up there if I were you,” she says, hands on her hips. 

“Why not?” the red-haired girl narrows her eyes at Robin and mimics her stance of hands on her hips. Robin’s learned that this one-- Max-- is a full-on firecracker and refuses to take shit from anyone. Which like, good for her. Obviously it’s good to see a young woman standing up in the face of bullshit and being a badass, but when her fiery personality is directed towards Robin, it’s a bit much. 

“You’re… uh--” Robin struggles to figure out how she’s going to tell this kid not to go upstairs because her babysitter and older brother are having some really loud, passionate sex. 

“Shit, giving a bunch of twerps The Talk was not on my to do list for today,” she mutters under her breath.

“Shit!” Dustin exclaims. “I thought you said Billy was at work.” He turns, staring accusatorily at Max who shrugs and makes a face at him.

“I thought he was too! That’s what he said!”

“Jesus Christ,” Lucas mumbles, dropping his head into his hands. “Can’t they just go  _ two minutes _ without banging?”

“Gross!” Max shrieks, slapping his arm as a couple of the other kids giggle. Dustin, though, is not giggling. His face is turning red with frustration, and Robin thinks he’s about to literally explode if he holds in his irritation for one more second. Such a freaking drama queen.

“I don’t even know why I put up with him any more,” Dustin finally grumbles, turning around and resuming his march up the stairs. 

“Dustin!” Robin calls, throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation. “Stop!”

“He’s not going to stop,” that one with a bowl cut-- Will-- sagely informs her. He lowers his voice and leans in to tell her almost conspiratorially, “Steve took his extended pack of cards last time because Dustin was being a smartass, and now we’re trying to play but we need the add-ons.”

As if any of that makes any sense to her at all.

“Harrington, I’m going to kill you next time I actually see you,” she mumbles to herself, pushing past the kids and following after Dustin to the top of the stairs. She catches him approaching Steve’s closed bedroom door and reaching a fist up to pound on it. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, dingus,” she warns, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall.

“Steve’s such a shithead,” Dustin tells her, as if that is a reasonable response to what she just said. 

“Jesus, Dustin!” she rushes over and grabs his arm when he raises it into the air. “I’m telling you, you  _ really  _ don’t want to do that.” 

“But they’re _ so annoying _ ,” he whines, again as if that’s a valid response. “They’re together  _ all the time _ and they’re always making gross lovey faces at each other and saying dumb shit and running off to be alone in Steve’s room, and  _ it’s not fair _ .” He literally stomps his foot in frustration on the last three words, and Robin loosens her grip on his arm, her annoyance with him quickly changing to sympathy. Poor kid, he’s just having a hard time grappling with the fact that his buddy’s in a relationship and can’t devote all his time to entertaining and chauffeuring and taking care of Dustin. 

“I know, it sucks, man,” she concedes. “I was supposed to hang out with them…. like an hour and a half ago,” she checks her watch quickly. “But you  _ really, really  _ don’t want to go into that room right now.”

As if to back up her comment, a loud moan can be heard through the door, followed by a chorus of grunts in quick succession. 

“Nah, it’s fine.” Dustin seems to be over his momentary bout of self-pity and is back to being his typical hyper self. “They do this all the time, and there’s only one way to stop them. Besides, they know to lock the door now.” 

He immediately starts pounding on the door, leaving Robin to wonder about the implications of his statement and what must have gone into the learning curve to reach that lesson. 

“STEVE!” Dustin bellows, never stopping his banging. “HEY BUDDY! I NEED TO COME IN!”

There’s a dull thud sound right against the door, as if someone threw something at it, making Robin jump in surprise but not stopping Dustin’s continuous knocking. 

“Fuck off, man. I’m busy,” Steve’s voice comes from behind the door.

“COME OUT, STEVE! I’M NOT GOING AWAY UNTIL YOU DO! I NEED TO GET SOMETHING FROM YOU!”

Robin’s even more impressed at Dustin’s courage now than she ever was seeing him take on evil Russians first hand. 

“Fuck me, shut the hell up already!” another voice-- Billy’s-- calls from Steve’s room. 

“Dustin…” Robin starts, feeling the need to intervene before she becomes complicit in his behavior. “We should probably just go.” 

“Nuh-uh. Not until he gives me back my expansion pack.”

He starts knocking with both fists now, and Robin honestly wouldn’t blame Steve or Billy if they came out and hit this kid because she’s about two seconds away from doing that herself. 

“Holy shit! Just give me one second!” Steve yells, and needless to say, he does not sound happy. 

“THANKS, BUDDY! YOU’RE THE BEST!” 

“I can’t believe we survived some crazy Russians just for you to get us both killed right now,” Robin shakes her head and slouches against the wall, sliding down until she’s sitting facing the door.

It’s another minute or two before the door’s wrenched open, and a very dishevelled, very pissed Steve is standing there, clutching a blanket around his hips and glaring out at Dustin. 

“Jesus, man, I told you you can’t keep barging in like this.” 

He runs the hand not holding up the blanket through his messy hair, looking much more exasperated than anything else. 

“Sorry, Steve,” Dustin says, patting him on the chest while ducking under his arm and into the room. 

Robin hears a “Shit!” and then Dustin’s running back out of the room yelling a squeaky “SHIT SHIT SHIT,” his eyes squeezed closed. He collides with Steve’s back, having misjudged the exact whereabouts of his blind escape, sending Steve stumbling into the hall.

Steve notices Robin sitting there for the first time, and it’s pretty funny honestly how Robin can see the twenty different emotions flicker across his face in a second before he realizes why she’s there. 

“Oh shit,” he breathes out, glancing back over his shoulder towards his room where Dustin’s still standing in the doorway with his eyes closed. “Rob, I totally forgot you were coming over.”

“Yeah, no shit, dingus. It’s fine, though. I raided your fancy-person pantry anyway. Wasn’t going to come out of today empty-handed.” 

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Steve says off-handedly, not paying much attention as Billy steps out of the room, pushing Dustin’s head down so he falls out of the doorway with a screech of “HEY!”

He’s put on a pair of old basketball shorts, but Robin adamantly keeps her eyes tilted up towards the ceiling because even just one glance at him revealed that his shorts don’t do the best job of hiding his arousal, and that’s something Robin’s lesbian soul does  _ not _ need in her life. 

“Hi Billy,” she says to the ceiling, her cheeks burning as she realizes she’s making everything much more awkward. “I tried to get him to stop.”

“Well I wouldn’t be here,” Dustin butts in, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring as Billy wraps an arm around Steve’s waist and tugs him against his side, “if  _ someone _ hadn’t stolen my shit.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Henderson? Why would we want any of your nerd shit?” Billy asks, smiling slyly when Dustin’s furrow deepens at the sound of his voice. 

“Steve took my cards!” he whines, and it’s kind of cute how pathetic he looks right now, on the verge of throwing a temper tantrum.

“God, don’t provoke him,” Steve murmurs to Billy, and Dustin’s clearly about to go off on him for talking about him as if he isn’t there, but Steve cuts him off by continuing, “jeez, they’re on top of my dresser. Just take them and get out of here already.”

Dustin’s mood is turned completely 360 as his face lights up and he rushes to grab his cards, moving faster than Robin’s probably ever seen him move before. 

Alone in the hallway now, the sounds of the other kids’ voices carrying up from the bottom of the stairs, Robin blushes again as she realizes she’s still standing there with a basically naked Steve and Billy. 

“Um, I was just leaving when they got here,” she tries to explain, starting to turn and leave for real as to save them all the embarrassment. 

Well “all” isn’t really right because whereas Steve-- and probably Robin if she could see herself-- looks absolutely mortified, Billy’s standing there looking as chill and nonchalant as ever, having the audacity to smirk at Robin as he stares cooly at her. 

“Wait!” Steve says, reaching out as if to grab her before remembering his current state of dress and his activities of only a few moments ago and deciding against it. “We can... We can just change and still have dinner with you? If you still want?”

She can’t help but laugh at the look of horror on Billy’s face as he turns to gape at Steve, clearly not amused with the suggestion to not finish whatever they had started in that bedroom. 

“No, it’s okay,” she says between giggles. “We’ll just reschedule. Trust me, I really don’t want to be around you two right now… full offense intended.” 

Steve somehow manages to blush even deeper, but Billy just laughs at that. She’s kind of sad they have to put off their hang out because she’s already got a feeling that she and Billy, despite the rocky start their got off on what with his whole possession thing and all, will get along great simply on the basis of enjoying teasing Steve and making him squirm.

Dustin bursts out of the room, wielding the pack of cards in his hand like a trophy as he steps into the hall. 

“Next time, don’t take my valuable possessions, and we won’t have this problem again,” Dustin says to Steve in a tone reminiscent of a mom scolding a small child about an issue for the millionth time. 

“Next time, don’t be such a smartass when I’m being generous enough to drive you to the movies,” Steve throws back. 

Dustin opens his mouth to retaliate, but suddenly Billy lunges at him growling, and Dustin  _ screams _ , running down the stairs. 

Billy bursts out laughing, throwing his head back he’s laughing so much, muttering a “works every time,” while Steve shoves his shoulder and fondly mumbles “asshole” with a shake of his head. 

Robin has to admit, they’re cute together for sure, but that doesn’t mean she wants to be included in this menage a trois any longer. 

“We’ll just reschedule,” she says, starting to walk down the hall towards the stairs. “But you owe me, dingus, and don’t think I’ll  _ ever _ let you live this down.”

“You’re the best! Bye!” Steve’s voice carries down the stairs. 

She closes the front door behind the last of the straggling twerps, watching them all hop on their bikes and ride away. Shaking her head, she climbs into her car and starts the engine. 

Jeez Louise, Steve Harrington is literally the biggest dingus out there. 


	3. are you sleeping baby by yourself?......

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nancy stumbles upon something she never would've expected to find
> 
> especially ft. Max, once again, being the only one to know exactly what's going on, Billy being possessive and a low-key exhibitionist, and Steve being the beautiful, sweet baby we all know he is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, this chapter is only 1.5 weeks later than I had promised but it's here!!!!
> 
> in continuing my One Direction themed chapters, this one is from "where do broken hearts go?"

Nancy has about 400 other things she could be doing right now, and not one of those includes picking up her younger brother from her ex-boyfriend’s house. 

But she’s nothing if not a dutiful and responsible daughter, so when her mom had started yelling up to her room about how swamped she is and how much she needs "some damn help"— and her mom  _ rarely _ curses— Nancy was of course going to help. 

So at ten minutes to four, she goes to grab the keys to her mom’s station wagon to set off on the still familiar route to Steve’s house. 

It’s still a little weird how much her younger brother and his friends are obsessed with hanging out around Steve, but once you get past that, it’s actually pretty sweet. 

Steve’s good with them and seems to enjoy their company, and though they would never admit it out loud, it’s pretty obvious to Nancy that those kids basically idolize him. Which… he deserves it. He truly deserves all the happiness, and she reasons that while  _ she _ just wasn’t able to provide that happiness, even when they were together, that doesn’t mean she wants him to be lonely and sad forever. And even though it’s drastically  _ not  _ the same thing, it’s still reassuring to see that Steve’s not totally alone or anything without her, even if his main form of companionship these days seems to be with a pack of 14 year olds. 

It’s kind of nice to have an excuse to leave the house that afternoon anyway, because her mom is completely frazzled, and Nancy just doesn’t want to deal with that right now. Why it’s such a huge ordeal to spend the weekend at their grandparents’ in Ohio is beyond her, but her mom has been running around the house all day: cleaning things up, packing, yelling at Nancy's dad, sending Nancy on various errands, and seemingly a hundred other things. 

There’s no need for this chaos, but Mrs. Wheeler wants everything to be perfect while they drive up to her parents’, and she's manifesting that in some major stress. So Nancy’s more than content to get out of the house and leave her mom to dealing with whatever. 

As Nancy plucks up the keys from the front hall table, she hears her mom calling out to her from the kitchen, and she sighs before heading in there. 

“Nancy, bring this casserole over to Steve, please, dear,” Mrs. Wheeler says to her, gesturing towards a pan on the counter without looking up from the list she’s writing. “Tell him thank you for letting Michael and the kids come over and that he should bake at 400 degrees for 35 minutes.”

“Sure, Mom.”

“Thanks, sweetie!” her mom calls as Nancy hurries out of the room. “Oh! And tell Michael to hurry up! We’re leaving exactly at 4:30!”

“Got it, Mom!”

~~~

When Nancy steps out of the car in Steve’s driveway, she’s assaulted with the sound of the radio cranked up to maximum volume from Steve’s fancy stereos. It’s a good thing he has a giant yard and his neighbors don’t live too close, because between the loud music and the sounds of screaming and laughing from the pool, Nancy’s already getting a headache, and she’s only been here five seconds. 

Pushing open the front door, Nancy calls out a “hello?” but it’s drowned out by the stereo. 

She heads inside and places the casserole on the kitchen counter before going through the sliding back doors which have been left open so the kids at the pool can hear the music playing. It’s actually a pretty good plan, turning the speakers up all the way so they can play music while being outside, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less annoying. 

“Hey Nancy!” Dustin waves wildly at her from the pool. 

“MIKE! YOUR SISTER’S HERE!” Lucas screams right into Mike’s ear, causing Mike to shove him underwater. 

“Yeah, no shit,” Mike says to him as Lucas resurfaces, spluttering and spitting out water. Max and El laugh at him from where they’re sunbathing on the pool loungers, making Mike blush and flex his (non-existent) muscles at them in a mock show of strength. 

“Mike, c'mon, we gotta go!” Nancy calls, but he doesn’t hear her as Lucas jumps up and tackles him underwater.  Nancy sighs deeply, putting her hands on her hips while she waits for Mike’s head to pop up out of the water. 

“Let’s go!” 

“Just a minute, gosh!” Mike yells back, turning his back to her as he starts aggressively splashing Lucas. 

Will shrieks as he indirectly gets in the line of fire, and suddenly the four boys are screaming and laughing and splashing each other as loudly as possible it seems, and Nancy’s so over it. 

Turning to the girls, she says, “can you _please_ get Mike out of the pool? We’re leaving for our grandparents’ at 4:30, and my mom is really stressed about being on time. I’ll be right back.”

The two girls nod, and she sends a grateful smile to them as she heads back inside.

“Wait! Nancy!” Max calls out to her, and she pokes her head back outside to look at the girls. 

Max glances over at El, and El leans against Max, stifling her giggles in Max’s shoulder. 

“Uh…. I just…. I think Steve’s busy,” Max manages to get out before bursting into giggles herself. Nancy frowns, unsure what she’s missing out on but feeling left out of  _ something _ with the way Max and El keep giving each other knowing looks and giggling. 

“Well, I’ll be quick,” Nancy tells them, which only makes them giggle more. “I won’t bother him for long. I just need to tell him how to cook the casserole my mom sent.”

“Okay…” Max’s voice trails off, looking over to El yet again to Nancy’s growing irritation. “Just-- just knock first, okay? We’ll get Mike.” 

“Promise,” El says, nodding at Nancy before the two climb off their lounge chairs and head over to the edge of the pool, calling out to the boys.

Even inside, between the music and the kids, it’s almost so loud Nancy can’t even hear herself thinking, so after calling out for Steve a few times from the living room, she decides it’s futile and decides to go seek him out herself. She knows her mom will flip if she doesn’t hand-deliver the message about the casserole to him, and her mom's stressed out enough as it is. Besides, she trusts that Mike will listen to El and Max much more readily than he’ll listen to her, so this is something she can actually handle. She’s still confused about the way Max and El were acting about Steve, but she shrugs it off, figuring that Steve probably instituted a knocking rule because he got fed up with 14-year olds barging into his space whenever they want and wants a semblance of privacy. 

She gets herself a glass of water from the kitchen before heading up the stairs, calling out for Steve a few times as she ascends, but she’s unsurprised that there’s no answer as her voice gets lost in the cacophony of the music. 

Nancy stops in front of Steve’s closed bedroom door, taking a deep breath as she realizes she hasn’t been here since they broke up. Whatever, it only has to be weird if she makes things weird, she reasons, lifting a hand up to knock tentatively at first. When there’s still no answer, she knocks again louder, but still no response. The music’s just so damn loud, and glancing at the watch on her wrist, she realizes she doesn’t have time to stand out here knocking until Steve  _ maybe _ hears her. 

She reaches down and tries slowly turning the doorknob, testing it out to find it’s unlocked.

She pushes it open and steps inside, opening her mouth to call out for Steve again but freezes mid-step as she takes in the scene laid out before her. 

Steve’s kneeling at the head of his bed, one hand gripping the headboard and the other out of sight in front of his body. His bare, pale back contrasts his dark hair falling over his shoulders as he throws his head back, and his bare, pale thighs are contrasted by the strong tanned arms gripping his hips and bracketing his legs. The person laying spread out on their back below him is all tanned-skin and defined-muscles, legs bent and feet planted on the bed that lead Nancy’s eyes to this person’s crotch, which is most definitely and unarguably a man, and a man who is clearly _hard_ and getting off on whatever he’s doing with Steve. And whatever that is… Nancy can’t be sure because she knows nothing about how two men can have sex with each other and anyway, is going through a zillion emotions at once as she tries to make sense of what she just walked in on her ex-boyfriend doing, but it looks as if Steve’s sitting on this guy’s face, and he’s moving his hips as a girl would as she rides a boy.

She doesn’t know how long she’s standing there, just gawking at the scene before her, but she only snaps out of her frozen daze when she hears the glass she’d forgotten was in her hand clatter to the floor and spill all over the carpet. 

Steve’s head snaps around to look at the source of the noise, and he goes bright red almost impressively fast when he sees who’s standing there. 

“Nancy,” he squeaks out, moving as fast as he can to cover himself up. In his rush to get under the blankets crumpled at the foot of the bed, he knees the person below him in the head as he swings his leg off the guy’s face, and it’s as the guy sits up to clutch his hurt nose and shove Steve as he grumbles “ow” that Nancy’s heart completely drops when she realizes the person with Steve is none other than _Billy Hargrove_. 

His eyes narrow instantaneously as he catches sight of her, and if she wasn’t still in so much shock she’d probably be nervous of the glare he sends her. 

“Wha--” she doesn’t even know what to say in a situation like this, so she just closes her mouth, suddenly very aware of the fact that Steve and Billy are  _ right there _ , naked and hard and getting off with each other. 

“Nancy,” Steve says, his tone pleading as if he’s trying to convey something to her that she just is not understanding. He bunches the blankets up around his waist to cover himself, but Billy, who’s still staring at her-- only now with his signature cocky smirk-- sits up and leans against the headboard, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before resting his hands behind his head and lounging there, completely nude and comfortable.

“I… I’m so sorry,” she finally manages to get out, cringing at how squeaky and unnatural her voice sounds, ignoring the way Billy’s smirk noticeably widens at her clear discomfort. “I... I didn’t know. I was just getting Mike, and ... and I’ll just leave,” she hears herself rambling and cringes internally. 

“Wait! Nance!” Steve calls out, lurching up to his knees but keeping the blanket covering his lower-half. Nancy watches the way Billy rolls his eyes at Steve’s words, and she must still be staring at him because Steve follows her line of sight and looks over to Billy, too. He sighs exasperatedly yet fondly in a very familiar way, as if this is something they’ve been over before, and throws a pillow at Billy. 

“Cover yourself up, asshole,” he snaps at Billy but has to bite his bottom lip to try to contain the smile that accompanies his words. 

“Anything for you, princess,” Billy’s voice comes out smooth and low. He doesn’t break eye contact with Nancy even as he tosses the pillow to the ground and crawls over to get on his knees behind Steve, effectively covering his erection while simultaneously plastering himself against Steve’s body, wrapping his arms around Steve and resting his chin on Steve’s shoulder in an obvious display of possessiveness. Nancy recognizes what he’s doing; he’s technically doing what he was told and preserving his modesty-- or more like Nancy’s eyes’ modesty-- by covering up, while also showing that he does what he wants and that he’s the one who gets to touch Steve now, not Nancy. Not that Nancy wants to, but it still feels as if Billy’s one-upping her by establishing his position as Steve’s….. whatever they are.

“Behave yourself,” Steve turns his head and murmurs practically into Billy’s mouth. 

“I’m always well-behaved, baby,” Billy taunts, nuzzling his nose against Steve’s. He flicks his eyes over to Nancy as Steve almost instantly goes pliant in his arms and leans forward to close the miniscule gap between their mouths. Steve definitely _never_ got like that when he was with Nancy, and she doesn't really know how to feel about this.

“Uh uh uh,” Billy tsks, pressing a finger up to Steve’s mouth as he pulls back slightly, grinning wolfishly as Steve blushes. “Now who’s miss behaving?”

“Um, I really can just go,” Nancy says much too loudly just to remind them that she is still there and still very uncomfortable with what’s going on. 

“No, you came up here to tell Stevie something, so let’s hear it,” Billy says, moving his hand from Steve’s lips to grip his jaw so tightly it looks painful to Nancy, but Steve just lets Billy manipulate him until he’s turned back to face Nancy. 

“Oh, um,” Nancy gets distracted watching as Billy drops his hand from Steve’s jaw and casually slides it down Steve’s throat. Steve’s eyes flutter and he arches slightly as Billy cups his neck momentarily before sliding his hand down the rest of Steve’s chest-- which Nancy now notices is  _ covered _ in hickeys and bruises-- until he wraps it back around Steve’s waist. 

“Right,” Nancy says, snapping her eyes from where they’d followed Billy’s trail down Steve’s body back up to their faces. She blushes when she sees how wrecked Steve looks and how smug Billy is. 

“I just….” she takes a deep breath to compose herself. She’s dealt with Billy’s arrogance before, and this time shouldn’t be different from any other where she doesn't lets his cockiness throw her off. “I came to pick up Mike, and my mom sent me with a casserole, and I’m supposed to tell you to cook it at 400 degrees for 35 minutes.” 

She smiles triumphantly when she gets it all out but her smile quickly fades when she sees the sly look morphing across Billy’s face and the low whistle he lets out. 

“How  _ is  _ your mom,  _ Nance _ ?” he asks, voice much too syrupy sweet for Nancy’s liking. “Sending her lovin’ to yet another teenage boy, I see. Your daddy not giving her what she needs?” 

“Hey!” Steve snaps, elbowing Billy in the ribs and turning to glare at him. “Don’t be a dick.” 

Nancy’s about to say something right back to Billy, anger boiling in her gut, but she’s intrigued by the silent conversation these two seem to be having with their eyes. Finally after a few moments they both turn back to look at her, and she notices that Billy seems to wrap his arms even tighter around Steve, as if he’s worried Steve’s going to try to run away from him. 

“Sorry,” Billy mumbles, immediately burying his face against Steve’s neck to hide. 

Steve giggles as Billy’s hair and breath tickles him, and he squirms slightly in Billy’s arms as Billy digs his fingers into Steve’s sides. This whole thing is  _ so  _ weird-- Nancy really doesn’t know how to react to finding out your ex-boyfriend is apparently queer and sleeping with his former nemesis, all because you accidentally walked in on them having sex-- but even Billy’s mean dig moments ago is dulled by the fact that everything between these two, even just in the couple minutes she’s seen them together, seems achingly intimate and sweet. 

“What was that? Couldn’t hear you there, bud,” Steve teases, choking out a moan as Billy abruptly turns his tickling into sucking along Steve’s neck.

Billy finally pulls away from Steve’s neck, leaning back to admire his work before turning his attention back to Nancy. 

“Listen, I’m sorry, okay? It was nice of your mom to send over food,” he huffs out, and it’s not the most eloquent or sincere sounding apology, but it’s the first apology Nancy’s _ever_ even heard of Billy Hargrove offering, and all it took was a few words from Steve.

That's crazy, and it gives Nancy pause. 

Billy might still be a selfish dick-- he’s definitely not proving her wrong by the way he’s kissing and sucking at Steve’s bared neck _or_ the way one hand has disappeared under the blankets around Steve’s waist-- but there’s something about being with Steve that seems to be making him _maybe_ a better person. 

And they seem completely into each other, so that’s good, even if this whole thing is totally weird and totally  _ not _ where she expected the day to go at all.

“Nice of her to send over food,” Billy repeats softly into Steve’s skin, his eyes flicking up mischievously to Nancy’s face once more, “for  _ Steve _ , but I’ve already got something I’m trying to eat” --- “HEY” Steve sqwuaks out incredulously-- "so if that’s all…..” 

He cocks an eyebrow at Nancy, and she nods furiously, already turning on her heel and reaching for the door. 

“Buh-bye,  _ Nance _ ,” she hears Billy’s voice call out sugary-sweet right before she hears Steve yell out, “oh,  _ fuck _ ,” and she slams the door shut behind her aggressively. She falls against it, breathing heavily as she tries to sort through what the fuck just happened. 

“MAX!” she finally screams, pushing off the door and heading towards the doors. “ELEVEN!” 

She hears the girls shriek and all the kids start laughing as Nancy rounds the bottom of the stairs and heads to the backyard. She’s relieved to see Mike’s out of the pool and toweling off, but her eyes only skim past him until they land on Max and El clutching each other and laughing so hard they can barely stand up. 

“You two have got some explaining.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!
> 
> I just want to say THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for reading, subscribing, leaving comments and kudos, and just generally all the love I've felt around this fic. It's all just a bunch of silliness, and I'm glad you guys enjoyed it as much as I did just creating it. 
> 
> I know I had originally said that this fic would be four chapters, but I've decided for right now to just leave it at three. BECAUSE I've started a multi-chaptered, plot-driven, season 3 fix-it fic (only a month late lol) that I want to devote all my attention to. SO STAY TUNED FOR THAT! Also, I absolutely have not closed the door on this fic. If I get inspiration for another chapter, I will absolutely add it. I'm just marking it as three chapters for now for my own personal ease so that I don't feel like this is looming over me while I try to wrist my most fleshed out fic yet (yikes!!)
> 
> Anyway, like I said, ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT HAS MEANT THE WORLD TO ME!! THANK YOU!!


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